Friday, May 3, 2013

I'm Surprised Beyonce Hasn't Hired Someone To Colour Her Sh&T While It Floats in the Toilet

Good grief. Most ridiculously over-rated brat in the history of American music?

Beyonce's outrageous tour rider revealed!

The rider includes:

• $900 worth of titanium drinking straws for her dressing rooms (used to drink a special alkaline water that’s served at exactly 21 degrees!)
• Everyone in the crew must be dressed in clothes made of 100% pure cotton (to prevent her from having an allergic reaction)
• The dressing room must be painted off-white
• Every toilet seat (in each venue) must be brand new
• Bathrooms are stocked only with red toilet paper (no joke)
• A hand-carved ice-ball (to cool her throat after performances)
• Glass platters of almonds, oatcakes and green-only crudités (no junk food allowed)

What's with the red toilet paper? And the toilet seats?

Seriously mental.