Apparently, I Am The Last Woman in North America To Find Out I Could Have Ordered Mark Steyn For Chanukah

To my utter dismay and woe, not just woe, and not just dismay but WOE AND DISMAY, I am, by all appearances, the last woman in North America, or perhaps the world to find out that I can order Mark Steyn all wrapped up in draidle gift wrap, right to my house for Chanukah!!!!

OH MAH GAWD I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO!!!!

What shall I wear? What is the fitting repast for such an auspicious occasion?

OK, not to go like Full Jew, because I do consider myself very cosmopolitan but let me try to get the details straight.. is this not the holiday where the bearded guy in the fabulous bespoke suit comes down the chimney and then has the plate of cookies and milk potato latkes and sour cream waiting for him by the fireplace while the happy children Jewish mother greets him?

Have I got this right?

WORK WITH ME!!!

I AM REALLY LIKING THIS CHRISTMAS THINGY!!!!

*waves*

Bearded guy, wearing awesome suit comes right to the house-what could possibly be wrong with that????

What's that you say?

Errr....wait a moment.

OH OOOOOOOPS I DIDN'T READ THE FINE PRINT. 

OK, well now this is terribly embarrassing.

SILLY ME!!!

As it happens, one cannot actually, ahem, receive Mr. Steyn himself wrapped up in any sort of festive "holiday" gift wrap at all.

What you can do, if you haven't already is get a membership, or a gift membership to The Mark Steyn Club and get all kinds of cool things and privileges.

And, by getting a membership, you will help Mark Steyn continue to fight the legal battles that are expensive, and designed to crush the spirit, career and pocketbook. The process, as he has always pointed out, is the punishment.

Please consider supporting Mark Steyn with a membership this holiday Christmas season.