A reader just sent me this article, and I thought it was very interesting and sensitive.
I haven't really heard of the "People-First" movement, if it is a movement.
Personally, I really do not get troubled if people refer to my son as retarded. He is mentally retarded. He is. Calling him developmentally delayed is just a new term for mental retardation. I just can't get excited about that.
I don't care what people call him, as long as he gets what he needs-physically, mentally, spiritually, educationally. That is the same concern I have for all my kids.
I do agree that kids with disabilities should be thought of as kids first. They are kids, and they need all the things that regular children need. But while it's not "fair" to call people by their conditions and maladies-life is not fair.
Is it "fair" that my son has a genetic syndrome? Is it fair that I am a special needs parent? No. But there is no such thing as "fair".
In fact, I was recently reading an article about Jewish belief and language which discussed the fact that in Judaism-and in the Hebrew language, there is no such word as "fair". Hebrew/Jews have had to borrow the English word for "fair" and say it with a Hebrew accent ("fairrrrrr"). In Hebrew there is "just", but that is not the same thing as fair, because "just" refers to G-d's will, doing what we are commanded to do. Not what humans subjectively judge among themselves to be "fair".
Thus, from the article:
"Believe it or not, there are doctors I’ve met who make no secret of
their belief that giving birth to a child with a “preventable” condition
such as Down syndrome is irresponsible. I don’t much care if a doctor
uses people-first language if his body language says he wants me and my
child out of the room."
I would go a step further.
The problem, as I have argued in the past is not terminology. Rather-the problem with referencing the disabled is the desire for termination of their fragile, precious and challenging lives.
The desire for termination of these lives-and not a sanitation of terminolgy is what haunts our children's existence.
That is what we live with day in and day out.
That is what haunts us.
