I laughed out loud. I'm still laughing.
The whole thing is wickedly good, but this part is hysterical:
"On Twitter—where he’s constantly insulting people as if he were a mix of Ronald Reagan and Don Rickles—Trump denied that his “blood” comment had anything to do with Megyn Kelly’s magical mystical sacred vagina and was instead a reference to her nose:
Re Megyn Kelly quote: “you could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever” (NOSE). Just got on w/thought“Only a deviant would think anything else,” Trump later told a reporter.
"And see, this is why I love Donald Trump. It has nothing to do with his policies, because I don’t know what they are beyond the fact that he hates illegal immigration. And I care not whether he was referring to Kelly’s nose or her vagina, either. What I love is that we’re living in the year 2015 and he uses the word “deviant.” It’s more refreshing than a thousand Altoids to hear a presidential candidate refer to others as deviants. I’d bet the last president to call someone a deviant was Nixon, and I love that guy, too."
"No matter how egregiously someone acts like a dick toward him, Trump’s default response is, “Sorry, but I’m gonna be the bigger dick in this scenario. Bite me!” He’s brought unabashed name-calling back into politics, and for that I thank him."
OH MAH GAWD I LOVE THAT PART.
That's exactly it. I was trying to figure out what I love so much about the Trump candidacy, and boiled it down to two main points. One, that he could not be any worse than Obama, and two, that he has enough money to not give a single sh&t about anything anyone says about him, or how this plays out.
But "sorry, but I'm gonna be the bigger dick in this scenario, bite me" is absolutely what it is all about and I am so mad at myself that I didn't think of that first. ARGH.
Kudos, Mr. Goad.