This is a beautiful, beautiful essay and I quite agree.
It's not what you say that really matters although words are important.
It's what you do.
A hug, a meal, a shoulder to cry on, or a hand to wipe away the tears, a good deed in someone's honour.
"The closer you are, the less you have to say. A friend
loses a grandparent, you say you’re sorry. A friend loses a parent,
silence and presence suffices.