Monday, March 19, 2012

Touching Yourself for Charity

Jim Goad is hilarious.

I can barely get through his stuff without laughing out loud.

Today, he has a masterpiece up on Taki Magazine.

"If I had known that public masturbation can cure dehydration, I never would have guzzled all those Diet Cokes".

Read the whole thing. 
The internet and social media is not only making people dumber, but making it easier to reach thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of people (while sitting on your rear end in the comfort of your living room) and show them in real time, what a stupid moron you are.

My current pet peeve is (and maybe I'll do a series) is the Lament of the Middle Aged Sex Symbol. How boring and simultaneously disgusting is it for formerly hot actresses to lament the erosion of their hotness, and whine to various tabloids about how they actually still think they are that hot, or taking to posing in outfits and poses from the Fellatio Impressionism Period of art. 
They so desperately want to demonstrate that THEY HAVE STILL GOT IT?!??! 

They have some of it, but not all of it-that's just the way of the world.

I mean-Madonna and the gloves. Come on!

Demi and Ashton? Ugh. 

Elle MacPherson has lately jumped on this bandwagon. It's bloody awful. Cindy Crawford and Brooke Shields, too.

Most of these formerly hot women would be much hotter if they admited that time ticks on. They can still be sexy and dignified, but time stands still for no hottie. 
When these broads die, they will need to be tossed into the recycling box instead of buried due to environmental regulations concerning the disposal of plastics. (Not hot.)

Nobody has ever loved the process of aging, but at least-up until now there was no internet for women to constantly moan about it online.