Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Top 5 Reasons Why Vegan Diets Suck (And Vegans, Too)

OK, the article is just about why vegan diets suck, but in my experience, vegans are the suckiest sucks on the planet. 

Here's a good one my daughter told me:

Q: How can you tell if there is a vegan at your dinner party?


Plus it is EXTRA SUPER DOUBLE PLUS BORING to hear about allergies, and sensitivities. ZZZZZ sooooooo sleeepy.

(Here's my Dad's and my secret weapon-when these conversations start-say to the person "Oh, that's very interesting-would you like to hear about my hemorrhoids?") 

I once worked for a hypoglycemic, pasty, white, red-headed, dried up, spinster Jew lady.

She was a vegan.

She didn't like men, meat, red wine or kids. She didn't like me very much either. Imagine that.

You should have seen her popping little bits of cereal in her mouth from a little zip lock baggie when she started feeling low.

I really think that she could have been a lot more fun and relaxed if only she had a medium rare steak with red wine and got completely and totally and royally laid for about 48 hours straight, but what do I know?