The evil, seeekrit Jew Kathy Draidle once told me about an episode of Dr. Phil that she watched in which Dr. Phil asks a confessing adulterer to walk him through how it happened (not the 'what', but the how, silly readers...).
He apparently lets the guy tell his whole shpiel, how things "just happened", with all the passive language accoutrements, and then waits till the end and says something like "so wait a minute, I just want to understand something-your pants, they JUST FELL DOWN?!?!?!".
So perfect!
But now there is an even better excuse for adultery than "MY PANTS, THEY JUST FELL DOWN!!!".
It's "the global warming made me do it".
