This is an outstanding personal essay and I urge you to read every single word.
"Begging for appeasement is pitiful."
"The devastating side-effects are a synthesis of self-contempt and an increased repulsion in the captors. I know what it is to beg. I have done it."
"With a machete at my throat I pleaded for my life that day in the forest."
"Those moments of begging deluded me into a false sense of security and offered me a distorted reality that the sons of evil would change their mind. They didn’t. Thirty minutes later, Kristine Luken Z”L was laying slaughtered among the cyclamens."
"I therefore cannot, do not and will not beg because I do not believe in it."