Thursday, February 18, 2016

News About Jews You Can Use: Bagels, Lox and Schmear Edition

"Why do Jews eat bagels with lox and cream cheese." 

PS: *goy alert*

If you say "Smoked Salmon" you're totally goyish. But there's still hope!

If you say "lox" but pronounce it like "locks" (like locks on a door) then you are nominally Jewish even if you are goyish.

If you say "lox" like "lucks" (like rhymes with ducks) then you are fully Jewish even if you are goyish.

Yes, it's a Sooooper Seeeekrit Code and yes, YOU'RE WELCOME.