I LOVE THIS SITE.
If you want good advice, you need to have this site on your list of favourites.
Dr. Lastname needs a radio show and a book-actually several books. Plus a pod cast.
The advice here is outstanding, full of common sense and his writing partner is an excellent writer as well.
Here is a little bit of wisdom regarding relatives who are screw ups:
"It’s normal to believe that most of the undisciplined, close-relative
fuckups you know could have been helped by a good swift kick in the
pants while they were growing up."
"It’s also normal to retain this
belief regardless of evidence to the contrary, such as said relative’s
remaining a fuckup despite lots of expertly-placed kicks in the ass by
well-meaning, if probably irritated, friends, teachers, relatives,
therapists, etc"
"In other words, we want to believe that fuck-ups are fuck-ups because
they make bad choices, rather than because they’re fucked up. False
hope springs eternal, except on this site, where it finds an eternal
resting place."
This is a magnificent paragraph:
"Ask yourself what your goal is if it turns out that she’s an incurable
fuck-up who sees herself as mistreated by a mean family that punishes
her for her bad luck and makes her feel guilty when she tries to grab a
little happiness."
(This is applicable to friends as well as relatives, of course.)
"Some people blame themselves for bad luck (see
above); fuck-ups blame everybody else for their own bad habits. You can
see then why a come-to-Jesus talk about growing up and being less
self-centered would probably stiffen her victim-identity and create
conflict that would do no good for her child. You can also see why your
goal had better include lots of restraint. "
Wow.
Dr. Lastname WINS the internet today!
Your prize is a set of Ginsu knives, a K-Tel Disco Hits album and an Obama car bobblehead!
