Friday, March 8, 2013

Random Observations of Human Nature

I've said before, the best thing about having my own blog is that I can publish whatever I want.

My blog! Mine, mine, mine!

There aren't that many brilliant news stories today floating along the interwebzzz so I thought I would tell two random stories about people that I don't know.

I like to observe and think about humans! Humans are such funny creatures!

Story Number 1: The Cookie Drops

I was at a library recently and there is a really neat coffee shop in the foyer. I bought a coffee for me and a colleague and then we sat at the window and were watching people go by for a minute or two. It was really crappy out and we needed to warm up-having schlepped a bunch of stuff in the slush and snow for a work-related thing.

This woman was walking toward us with her coffee and a big cookie on a plate-and like a movie, I watched as the cookie started to slide off the plate and she couldn't catch it in time. It dropped on the floor, but it didn't smash, but she looked completely bummed out. She said something like 'oh well, I guess I wasn't meant to have it'. Personally, it was on the floor for less than three seconds-it really was still good-but some people are such germ freaks. So, I turned to her and said-just go and ask for another one, I'm sure they will give you another one.

She looked really uncomfortable, and her English wasn't great. She was clearly embarrassed by the teeny, tiny "scene" she had made. So I said-what's the worst that could happen? They won't give you a fresh one. It took a few minutes, but I convinced her and then-I'm totally embarrassed to say "you go girl" slipped out of my mouth.

She went to the counter and (duh) they gave her a new cookie. Now, they certainly didn't have to give her a new cookie-even though there is probably a reasonable chance that the cookies are marked up at least 100%, so they could absorb the odd replacement one. But they do not have to-it was her fault the cookie slipped.

But it was such an easy gesture-she was clearly so disappointed when it fell and you should have seen her face when she walked back to her still-hot coffee with the new cookie. She didn't say much, she just smiled and I think it was a really nice lesson in customer service, and for a new immigrant-to show that people are usually really decent if approached politely. She looked so happy.

What an easy fix all around.

Story Number  2: Wussified Men

I was at an event (I rarely get out at night). It was pretty fancy! At this event, the women were really nice looking, and totally decked out. Dresses, their hair was done, the nails, the nice little clutch bags, killer sexy high heels! Then there were some very decent looking guys-mostly slim, in suits and very well-groomed.

Plus-there was a massive amount of alcohol circulating and music.

Now-the music, I have to admit was CRAPTACULAR. Not the volume-it was really loud, but that's to be expected, and as I get older-I am more sensitive to volume. However, it was the selections that were just dreadful, the volume was loud but tolerable.

My husband got sick of me kvetching about the DJ, but you know-I do a lot of events and I know good from bad (for good-Bounce here in Toronto is excellent). The music last night (in my opinion) was just not appropriate for the crowd. It was too "house"/electronic, too contrived and was 100% not conducive to people starting to dance. I tried my best-even grabbed a couple of girls that looked like they wanted to dance also-but I couldn't get it started.

So, let's review: very nice looking women-all dolled up. Nice looking gentlemen, copious amounts of booze and good food, and music. And finger food-lots of cute little mini-thingy foods!

To my dismay-there were pockets of girls together and little pockets of men together. The women were tottering around on their heels, drinking wine looking all around. The men standing in small groups, joking about, getting watered but never the twain did meet!!!



WTF is wrong with people? I wanted to run around the room introducing people that I didn't know.

Don't these dudes have ANY game in them???? The women were really waiting for the men to approach. They did not appear to be cold and bitchy in the least. Very few had that ice-queen, sh&t testing look. 

Some were even clearly sending out signals that they were-ahem-VERY approachable.

And by that, I mean that their dresses barely covered their bums and might need to be cut off with scissors. 

I told my husband that if I was a guy and saw one of those gals, or even better-one of those gals, with a tattoo, I'd know that I wouldn't really have to work too bloody hard to get lucky. Meaning a small investment in chit chat would probably pay big dividends.

I remarked to hubby that this kind of spectacle would never happen in Israel. Like NEVER EVAH EVAH EVAH.

He said, yup-the guys would be making beelines to the gals. There would be no guy NOT engaged in chatting up a girl. NONE. Like ZERO.

Even if the chit chat was just friendly, and just to talk, without a romantic angle or pursuit-there would be conversation. 

These young professionals were painfully single. But no guts, no glory!

I really wanted to walk up to the guys and ask them why on earth they were not making more of an effort to engage the ladies who were so clearly there to meet men!??!??!


That was How Not to Get Laid 101.

It was How Not To Even Get a Business Card 101!

How Not To Even Smile And Get A Smile Back.

Have I mentioned: GAH!!!???!?!??!?

I talk to strangers all the time. 

Sometimes it's a blast. Sometimes I fall flat on my face. But I love people. All kinds of people. I like having stories to tell.

People!!! No guts, no glory.

Terribly upsetting stuff.

Those are my random people stories for today. I hope you have enjoyed them but if not-too bad.

(For more information on the "Too Bad" policy, pleas see: the 'my blog, I can publish whatever I want' policy at the top of this post!)