Monday, August 25, 2014

(Stephen) Harper's Hair Was Talking!


His hair?!?!

It talks?!??!





This is just one of the lines of Heather Mallick's Love Letter to Justin Trudeau.

*Spoiler alert*

She thinks he is like soooooo DREAMY!


"Trudeau is intelligent, humane and self-confident, a Québécois who is devoted to Canadian unity and has the most marvellous family: a sophisticated career-minded wife, Sophie Grégoire, and three adorable young children with the interesting names that only confident parents bestow: Xavier James, Ella-Grace and Hadrien. He has an English degree from McGill, a UBC teaching degree and taught for several years. He has his father’s intellect and wit, while being more down to earth, and his mother’s good looks and warmth. And the guy, a Montrealer, can wear a suit."

(Interesting names that only "confident" parents bestow??? That is MENTAL.)

Is that not the most fawning paragraph in the history of Canadian journalism? He's just perfect!

"Take every word over four letters in that paragraph and you have a list of why the ruling Conservatives hate him."

"I didn’t put the word “attractive” in there in case they fizzed with resentment and exploded, like when you shake a pop can and open its little metal hole."

(That sounds to me more like very thinly disguised code for sexual frustration, in the physician- heal-thyself kind of way, but what do I know??)

And this paragraph is very, very strange:

"Once you reach this point, even people who find Conservative keywords erotic —”F-35,” “immigrants,” “elite” “taxpayer dollars” and weirdly, “sipping” — look at Harper skeptically."

Hey I resemble that remark! That one about finding Conservative keywords erotic-but those are the wrong keywords, baby.

And as far as Stephen Harper goes:


(Jason Kenney would also be good, or John Baird...JUST SAYIN...) 

As for the recent break-in (the perfect man has no security system for his perfect family):

Has anyone confirmed the whereabouts of Mr. Perfect's brother on said weekend?