Friday, December 18, 2015

Liberal, Canadian Feminist Female Journalist Attempts Slow, Mental Castration of Boys...

Fails miserably. 

Boys will be boys. 

This is absolutely hysterical.

I know it's meant to be earnest and stuff, and to try to show how reasonable and sane and wonderful and moderate Canadian liberals are, and how smart they are (smarter than you of course) but that's the reason why it's so funny.

Maybe using your children as social justice projects and try to change human nature is not such a great idea?

"My stepson was a toddler when we first met, and he regarded me with a mixture of guarded affection and well-founded suspicion. One of my first, idealistic moves as his new liberal Canadian stepmother was to confiscate his substantial collection of toy guns and hide them in a shopping bag at the bottom of the laundry hamper."

(His suspicious was clearly well-founded. Kids can smell insincere adults from a mile away.)

"At first I thought my domestic-disarmament policy was working, but after Freddy’s last birthday party, I realized my mistake. After opening the enormous haul of military battleships, supersoaker water pistols and light-up laser guns that his friends’ parents see as perfectly acceptable birthday presents, he threw himself across his pile of gifts and wailed, “Please Leah, let me keep my killing toys!”

This part is pathetic: 

"As it stands now, both boys in my house talk more or less constantly of killing. The more my husband and I earnestly try to impress upon them the real-life horrors of terrorism, mass shootings and the carnage of the ongoing missile attacks on Syria, et cetera, the more their murderous little eyes widen and their hunger for make-believe violence grows. Their blood-thirstiness seems to flourish in inverse proportion to the number of anatomically correct dolls, toy kitchens and gender-neutral non-conflict-based games I press upon them. Just last week, my three-year-old told me that when he grows up he wants to be “a flying soldier with loads of guns and a cricket bat for killing zombies who try to eat my brain.”

And now, the most excellent conclusion, from our bulging "from the mouths of babes" file: 

"When I try to introduce pro-gun-control arguments to my kids, their instant response is the same kind of fact-allergic, closed-loop thinking favoured by NRA supporters in the United States. “Santa doesn’t bring kids guns for Christmas because in real life guns are dangerous and kill people,” I told Freddy the other day."

"He looked at me like I was a long-haired bleeding heart naively chaining myself to a redwood pine as the logging trucks moved in."

(The truth hurts. Nice that she has some momentary lucid moments in here.)

“But what are we supposed to do if aliens come from outer space and try to kidnap us?” he queried."



You know who is going to protect that family? 


They're lucky to have him.